Letting Go - A Breakup Blog

Its been a week since I have had any communication with Rick.  No calls, no texts, no emails. I think this is the longest we have gone without communication.

I miss him a little but when I think about how I was hurt and the annoying things hes been doing lately, I feel this is for the best.

I decided things are over between Rick and I.  He snapped at me and called me names for no reason.  That might not sound like a big deal but when you are a victim of abuse (two relationships I experienced this) you learn NOT to take it anymore.

When you write to me tell me about your douche bag boyfriend, I tell you to get out of the relationship.  This is what I need to do myself.

This guy NEVER says he is sorry when he has been a jerk.  He refuses to believe he did anything wrong.  So I guess mistreating people is OK with him.

People are full of excuses when they act like an ass.  In this case he is really sick right now.  I had the nerve to ask him if maybe he should go to the hospital because he is having trouble breathing.  This is when he started calling me names…..

I do not give a f*ck if you are sick, don’t take it out on me or ANYONE.  I was just a concerned friend looking after him.

Some people are better left alone when they are sick.

For the record he has done this 3 times in the three years I have known him. It might not sound like a lot but its enough for me.

This year I will be on top of this blog.  I never expected it to grow like it has.  

I want everyone who is hurting over a break up to find the peace I found.

Am I happy with my life right now? No, not really but at least I no longer hurt and will avoid the things I did in my past that took me to a hurtful place.

Thank you guys for the nice emails you send.  It really means a lot to me.

x

I had a call from ex #1 last night.  It started with me because I had a medical question for him (he works in the medical field).  He ended up calling me in the middle of night.

By that time, I was already sleeping.  I took the call, asked him my two questions and fully expected that it was the end of the conversation. Noooooo!  He kept talking. He talked so much I couldn’t get a word in.

This is the second time in a month he has become a chatter box on the phone.  It is very strange because this is a guy who hated being on the phone.

Things change when you are no longer involved.  You can relax and enjoy the friendship if you choose to stay friends.

I notice he only comes around when he is not involved.  Who cares? Not me.

No longer do I beg for his attention.

He called me on Christmas eve, he sent me a card.  That was nice but I am no longer longing for those things like I use to.

I am not suggesting you stay friends with someone who hurt you but you will find in time that you will forgive that person, maybe.

yaiku asked: Hi! Love your site - it's so sad reading everyone' stories. As an expert in breakup things, I'd love your advice on a little side project I'm working on -a website called neverlikeditanyway do you think people need to grieve before they're ready to laugh it off?

So sorry for taking a long to reply.

I think laughter is the best medicine but since people do need some time to grieve its better to go through the process first.

Everyone is different and everyone has their own way to deal.  What they say about time being the best healer is true. Its hard to convince people of that at first. 

Please send me links to your projects would love to see it.

All I wanted was one night with him. As it turns out I haven’t seen him in over a month.  I have left him alone because he is so stressed with work and other things hanging over his head.

He did end up coming over on Saturday night.  Even though I was sick he spent the evening with me.  It doesn’t mean I forgive him but its a start.

Then I find out that he has made the time to visit other people.  That pissed me off. Not the fact that he has been seeing friends but the fact he is “too busy” to see me.

He tells me last night that I am not understanding and demanding.  Its been over a fucking month since I see him what does he expect.

This weekend he has plans today to see “people” but he is very vague about the whole thing.  Not like him at all.  He tells me every damn minute of his life but now I am being “too nosy”.

Maybe I am jumping to conclusions but I think he may be seeing someone.  One reason being he has no interest in sex with me at the moment.  No explanation given.  

Since I have been through this with him before, I am going to not explode like I did last time.

I am going to calmly walk away and he if really cares about me like he claims to, then he will have to be honest from this point on.

I have my doubt but I am not going to let him ruin my holidays.  You shouldn’t let anyone ruin your holidays.

If you are going through a break up right now, Please be kind to yourself.  Its ok to be a little selfish and treat yourself well. You deserve it.

How many of you of are going through a break up right now? 

The holidays are the worst time to be going through a break up.  Hang in there. The holidays can still be fun if you let them be.

First of all, hang out with love ones and friends.  If there are children around, hang out with them for a while.  Kids have away of cheering you up like not other.  

Don’t forget your pets.  I happen to be alone today but I have a faithful cat with me. She is a blast (tomorrow I am celebrating the holiday).

Keep busy.  Are you cooking?  Throwing yourself into a project keeps your mind off the blues.

I hope these tips will help those of you going through a holiday breakup.

Rick had to take a second job and that leaves little to know time to spend together.  He is under a lot of pressure so I do not want to add to it.

This could mean holidays alone.  

I am trying to get my family here for the holidays.  I miss them so much.  My mom has met Rick but my dad has not.

The pressure has been on me for me to find a “real” relationship. A relationship with someone who actually has the time to put into one.

I really hate dating. You get so tired of meeting jerks that I tell my mom its not worth it.

I think I am going to sit this one out.

Do you feel pressure to find someone? 

As we get closer to the holidays, I will be posting a survival guide for those of you going through a break up.

I have been busy with my life and have let this go. I am back with some news.

Yesterday I was on Facebook and EX #1 posted a picture of himself.  He looked as handsome as ever……..

I was told he was seeing someone (again) and my reaction is the same, “so what”.  I do not care anymore.  

He is still the same guy he ever was. I have lost count of how many relationships he has had since me.  

So it does not matter how handsome and charming he still is, he will always be the same person who hurt me. 

You maybe asking why we are still Facebook friends. We are still friends who rarely talk to each other.  Its pretty much the only way we communicate with each other these days.